Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Day Three in Paris

Today is our last day in Paris, and Mum was all, 'Maybe we should see some paintings or something,' so we ate breakfast and went to the Musee d"Orsay, which was okay but increds boring. And then we went to lunch at Hotel Coste (I can always spell the names of the expensive restaurants correctly, have you noticed?), which is where I always go when I'm in Pareeee, and we had exactly the same thing I had when I was here last year with my boyfriend Cousin Niles, like, exactly -- the pepper steak and the langoustine risotto. I am so cosmopolitan that I can take things in Paris for granted. I am perfection.

I think I remember "Coste" because it sounds like money.

Mum noticed that I was tittering through the risotto and raised an eyebrow and said, 'Goodness, Jonquil, I certainly hope you don't intend to make a spectacle of yourself this year at Christmas,' and I said, 'Oh pipe down, you old bat; the only spectacle I see here is your haircut,' and she sighed and paid the cheque and I just love my mum.

And then we went back to the hotel so we could pack up and so I could nick all the soaps and the bathrobes and the lamps. I highly recommend the Hyatt Vendome, it's super pricey and exclusive and you can get excellent coke there. Just tell them Jonquil sent you, but also be aware that if you say this, Jonathan in the hair salon may expect a blowjob. Swallow, darling; spitting is declasse.

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